Glass House

Glass House

There is a place called Glass House.  Every window is so clear one can see through it as if the sun touched every pane.  Every room is open, but there is no air.  There is one person living in that horrible place, she is strong; beautiful and adroit.  But she is afraid.  She is within a glass house and she knows it is a cage.  Some times when the sun goes down and she is along she cries.  Her tears do not stain or change the glass; it is there, ever cold to feelings, and hot to the touch.  She weeps but does not speak.  She cries out and no one hears her desperate pleas for freedom.  There is a locket about her neck, a missing key.  Within the center of her cage is another barred container, within it quivers a small beating heart.  It is beautiful and bright, it is bruised and beaten.  It gave one the distinct impression of a wounded puppy or a scarred hand.  Its wings are bloody from what were once beautiful white-gold feathers.  She tells herself she is beautiful; that she is the most worthwhile thing one can have.  But as all beautiful strengths, she is tormented from people who believe casting stones from within their own cages will free them.  Every day, morning, noon, and night she is harassed by people.  Cruel jeers of scorn-they call her a failure-Merciless laughter-they treat a woman as a child-and perhaps the worst of all, they cast about chains, stones, nails and screws... 

She tells herself that she is beautiful and kind, she lashes out to protect her caged heart, but always, no matter how many blows and buffets her body endures; no matter how many tears she weeps she cannot protect the core.  Slowly, over the years the bottom of the cage has become lined with feathers.  The core of the heart slowly hardened.  The girl realizing what was happening sacrificed her own garments to form curtains for the home, but she was naked and afraid of the jeers of her tormenters.  They came, and stood about the glass, gawking and jeering as if she were only an animal.  She tried not to cry as her body was again pelted with malicious objects.   She cowered as everything hit her.  She decided to stop caring, to stop protecting the heart.  To be silent for all time…

But time passes, and things change.  There was another within a cage too; one who could hear her silent cries, the one whom she thought held the key for her Glass House.  Ah!  But her wings grew back, more beautiful than before! Silver, Copper, Gold and Ruby! Everything a woman would find beautiful.  They would speak, talk about their deepest thoughts, their desires for life, the past didn’t matter anymore.  Finally the day came when the girl believed she could be loved, when the poor ignorant child of a woman believed herself to be beautiful, her companions had said so, so it must be true!  Her heart stretched its ivory wings, her thoughts soared in a hope which cannot be spoken! 

But, as her companion uttered words of love and acceptance, her tormenters returned.  The curtains had fallen, everything was so white hot and scorching and her skin had grown tender from the safety of silence.  Her companion wanted to fight, but she wept and sent him away, as stones of hatred, mistrust and scorn flickered blatantly across their features.  As the first stones were cast the girl’s white flesh became a flowerbed of roses and purple iris.  Everything changed.  She again felt the twist of the knife plunged into her back, its golden handle forming a keyhole into her betrayed back.  The toxic words;

“I deserve it…  I am as they say, I am irresponsible, I am untalented, I am cruel, I am ugly, I am… A terrible person”

She accepted them as truth, she wept again in silence, locking her bleeding heart into a cage of solid oak.  

But time passes, and the girl again fooled herself, she was made to believe things ‘weren’t so bad’ that she wasn’t treated horribly.  Yet, every time she said ‘I’m alright, they feed me, clothe me and pay for my schooling…’ she felt ugly and stupid.  Her heart would cry out for help, but none would come.  No one would ever come again. 

Another did come, one that had been there all along, a friend, a girl.  She told her not to feel ashamed of who she was, to always fight for what she wanted…  She too told of her Glass House, of the people who came and took her heart, who beat out her innocence by cruelty and hatred.  She felt horrible.  If she were not so selfish she could have seen the signs, she realized that she had been deaf to the poor child’s suffering and crying.  She was selfish to believe someone was going to help her, but now, she needed to be the one to protect, love, and shelter.  Now she needed to stand for herself.

Another came, he was strong and kind.  His heart burned brightly and kindly wasted time with the girl, he pretended not to see her scars; and she pretended they weren’t there.

As she was on the cusp of happiness, and her hopes were returning and becoming something beautiful again…  Her wings were clipped as they had only just started to grow back.

These people, the jeerers, tormentors, haters, and scorners…  She finally opened her eyes to see who was hurling the stones…  They were the faces of her family.  She cried.  She wept, she wanted to leave.  She told herself, as her skin bled from terrible wounds, as her heart bled unceasingly,

‘its my fault, I don’t deserve friends.  I hurt instead of love, I bite when I should kiss, I am worthless…’

She stood, tears mixed with blood streaming down her cheeks…

‘After all…  I don’t have it so bad.’

…And she will always go back to comfort them in their times of need as long as she is still beautiful, as long as she is still kind.

As long as she is stupid.

~*~*~*~*~

You alone are your most valuable asset; Do not become me.